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Inspirational, feel good, and thought provoking blogs for you!

Tania Day

8/24/2023

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Tania Day!
The other day I arrived home after 3 weeks of traveling, some of which was for fun and some for work. I woke up that day at my normal time, but I felt EXHAUSTED and a little irritable. Following my normal morning routine, I brewed coffee, started the laundry, and began unpacking. Next came breakfast and cleaning the kitchen. As I was wiping down the kitchen table, I heard my therapist’s voice in my head saying, ”What are you going to do for yourself today? When are you going to have a Tania day?” 

Pausing, I felt calmness wash over me. Her voice in my thoughts brought me back to her office and the countless times we had that conversation. I could see her sitting in her chair, her soft voice posing that exact question. I was wiped out, and I needed to have a Tania day. 

I looked at my watch. By that time, it was 9 am and I thought to myself, “I will finish up a few tasks, and by 10 am I will switch to doing whatever I want for the rest of the day.” 

I blogged, planned upcoming CLI events, caught up on research, snacked on chips and salsa, and cuddled up with my softest blanket. I didn’t bother brushing my hair or putting on makeup. Around noon I decided I was going to lie down and enjoy a nap. I’m usually a short napper, but I allowed myself to stay in bed for a couple of hours to rest my body and mind. Being in a state of stillness and calm was relaxing, and it allowed my mind to wander. Relaxing the brain allows new ideas to emerge.

While ideas and thoughts were fresh in my head, I grabbed my laptop and returned to my blogs. Once I finished writing, I turned my attention to pampering myself as I got ready for a gala event I was attending that evening.

No one cared that I didn’t accomplish a million things that day. I didn’t feel the need to run errands or cross items off my to-do list. Often, we create our own personal stress by placing pressure on ourselves to be everywhere and do everything. But you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Everyone’s stress levels are different. The amount of stress you’re able to bear can even differ depending on the day. Make sure you are able to recognize and identify the tasks that create stress in your life, as well as the coping strategies and self-care techniques that work best for you. Try to find ways to balance the stressors with self-care. 

Looking back, it was a beautiful Tania day! It took me years to learn the importance of taking days for myself. I hope you take time out of your day to recharge and fill your cup.

What I have learned: Only you can take a day for yourself. Learn to recognize when you need to do this before you are too overwhelmed.

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Battling Childhood Hunger

6/13/2023

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Battling Childhood Hunger
Not long ago, I was supervising some kiddos while they were waiting to be picked up. As we waited, I offered them a snack from my bucket full of granola bars and fruit snacks. They looked at the pile then at me. Their hesitation led me to offer again, this time saying they could each take a few snacks. They asked, “How many?” I looked at my watch. It was noon, so I figured they were hungry for lunch. I told them to take as many as they wanted. Each child took eight granola bars and six fruit snacks. I assumed they were loading up to take snacks home. Maybe their mother didn’t buy that type of snack or they wanted extras to keep in their backpacks.

But as I watched, the siblings sat down, began eating, and continued to wait for their ride. Unwrapping hastily, they ate all of the granola bars and fruit snacks they’d taken. Without a sound or any fooling around, they ate quickly. They filled up their water cups at least six times while they were eating. When they were finished, they quietly got up, cleaned up their spots, threw their wrappers in the trash, and sat back down. A few minutes later, one of the little girls came over and asked me for a few more snacks. I gave her four more of each kind. By now, I had figured out that they were truly hungry. My heart broke. I thought to myself, “Never in my life have I been that hungry.”

I assumed the additional snacks would be for the children to take home because surely they were full. I was incorrect. The kiddos ate them all - 10 granola bars and 10 fruit snacks each. They were slender children, and I wasn’t sure where all that food was going. My heart ached as I realized I didn’t know how to help them get food. I lived nowhere near them and wasn’t familiar with any food pantries in the area. By then, their older sister had arrived to pick them up, and they were all happy to see each other. Before they left, the older sister came over and asked if she could also have a snack. Of course a heaping handful of snacks were given to her too. 

Childhood hunger is real! As schools let out for the summer, children lose access to the school lunches that many of them rely on. I encourage you to donate to your local food pantry year round. Many children are hungry, and parents rely on food pantries throughout the year (not just during the holidays when most people donate). 

CLI is holding its third annual food drive in June. Join us for our giving campaign, Filling the Food Pantries, to help keep our children fed over the summer. June 21st we are collecting food to donate to a local food pantry. You can donate that day too!

What can you do to help?
  • Donate to your local food pantry. Many pantries will have a list on their website of their most needed items. 
  • Host a canned food drive. Be sure to check expiration dates before donating.
  • Volunteer at a food pantry.
 
What I have learned: Childhood hunger exists. It is real, and we can help.

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Mental Health for All

5/20/2023

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​May is Mental Health Awareness Month. How are you spreading awareness and supporting yourself and others?

Here are a few things you can do for others during Mental Health Awareness Month:

Talk about mental health by sharing your own mental health journey.

Show empathy to others who are struggling.

Be patient and listen to understand, not to solve.

Share mental health resources such as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Seek professional help if you do not know what to do to help someone or if you think they are a danger to themselves or others.

Here are a few things you can do for yourself during Mental Health Awareness Month:
Be honest about how you are feeling.

Take time to sit with yourself and journal. Write down all the amazing qualities you have, what you’re grateful for, or your favorite mantras. 

Try one of our self-care journals  - Link Here


Try meditation. Light a candle, play soft music, and sit with your eyes closed for a few minutes. Focus on your breathing and let any thoughts that arise pass right by. Start with two or three minutes and work your way up to 20. 

Realize when it is time to slow down or stop. Begin by recognizing harmful or self-sabotaging behaviors. Give yourself a break before overwhelm occurs by setting time limits on activities that can be draining.

Remove toxic people from your life.

Nourish your body with healthy food and lots of water.

Talk to a therapist or other mental health professional.

Take your prescribed medication responsibly and at the same time every day.


Watch positive TV or listen to uplifting music. Turn off the news and violent movies.

Go outside and spend time in nature. Set goals and imagine how it will feel to achieve them. 

Learn to say “no” to… things that are stressing you out.
Events that are keeping you too busy.
People that are expecting too much from you.
Tasks that are overwhelming.

What I have learned: Mental health issues impact everyone though the severity may differ. Let’s work together to stop the stigma and support one another.

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Making Parenting A Priority

5/11/2023

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I have been thinking about our world, which leads me to think about parenting. I take my work - helping support parents while they are raising their children - seriously each and every day. I believe I’ve heard every story there is about parenting struggles and successes. In my 27 years as an educator, I have worked with the parents of children of all ages (from 5 to 18), and I have seen it all. When people ask me the difference between working with elementary, middle, and high school kids, my go to phrase is, “All kids of all ages need the same things: to feel loved, cared for, and supported. And, they need our guidance. Always.”

As I reflect on my experiences, I have come to the realization that we spend hours improving our craft. We talk to others about our stresses  and successes at work. We ask others for advice and opinions. We take courses to learn new concepts or get the next certification or degree. We strive to make more and buy more. We try new hobbies and test different self-care techniques. 

But what are we doing to improve our skills as parents? Are we focusing on the behaviors and habits of our children? What about our parental habits and behaviors? How are we doing as parents? 

We only get one shot with our kids. The good news is we can all take a look inward and find areas of growth. We can make positive changes today. Many people think that working on parenting only applies to new parents of small children. That is not true! Parenting kiddos of any age requires reflection and adjustment of parenting styles. Our children never grow out of being our children. They are always our children, and we are always their parents. Many parents find themselves just going through the motions, not questioning how they could be better. 

Why don't we learn more about parenting? Why don’t we strive for growth as parents as we do in our professional lives?

Parenting is literally the most important job on earth! The importance of raising humans to become good humans cannot be overstated. 

Parenting Pro Tips:
  • Parenting is hard and wonderful at the same time.
  • Parenting requires a great deal of support from other parents.
  • Parenting skills improve when we reflect on our experiences.  
  • When we get honest about how we are doing as parents is when the work can really begin.
Each parent has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. What are yours? Where do you need extra support?

Unsure of where to begin? Take my parenting course and get started by adding new skills to your parenting toolbox. You can also grab a copy of my book, Raising The Well-Adjusted Child: A Parent's Manual, for some additional guidance. 
What I have learned: Kids of all ages need the same things: to feel loved, cared for, and supported. And, they need our guidance. ALWAYS.
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Motherhood Manifesto

4/30/2023

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They say a mother’s love is unconditional. I do believe that it is; however, my love for you is more complex than just unconditional. 

As your mother, I promise to love you forever and ever. I wish to show you the real world and to share the means in which to live. Teaching you compassion for life is a priority, much more important than any formal education. With compassion, you will strengthen relationships and build empathy for everyone around you.

I will teach you about God and Jesus. Together we will pray, and we will know that the work we do each day is for a higher good. You will know the gifts you have are given to you by God. When you use your gifts, you are doing God’s work.

I will teach you about gratitude. I will teach you how to love yourself, how to care for yourself, and how to become a strong independent woman. 

I will be there for you when you need me the most, and I will be watching from afar when you need me the least. I will know you and love you at your best and at your worst. I will stand beside you when you are strong, walk behind you when you are brave, and lead you when you are weak. When life knocks you down, I will help you up, dust you off, and point you in the right direction. I will guide you with the wisdom of my past and try to protect you from harm. I will want to shelter you from the harshest storms, knowing that my protection may not always be enough and that you must walk through storms alone. During your storms, during your anger, sadness, depression, and confusion, I will be there for you. I will cry with you when things do not turn out as you wanted, and I will laugh with you when  times are free and easy. 

When you are at your highest point in life and everything seems to be going your way,  I will be in the front row cheering you on. I will help you learn anything you wish. I will relish in the stories you share with me about your successes and challenges. When life is quiet and normal, I want to sit in those mundane moments with you. Hearing your daily experiences will only bring me joy. Whether spending lazy days or soaking up life’s biggest moments together, each second is a blessing.

Above all, I will be there for all that you need.
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My love for you is limitless and endless.

I love you,
Mom

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Girl Bosses

3/28/2023

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By chance, my family and I created a Girl Boss group! It was totally unplanned and spur of the moment. During the holidays, we were out to dinner as a group before my nieces went back to school. We’ve spent time together for many years, but this was the first time we went out as just us girls. This elite group consisted of my mother, my sister-in-law, my two daughters, my two nieces, and myself. As we were having dinner, we began discussing our careers, goals, aspirations, and shared love of female leadership. Then, we realized we were ALL girl bosses (or were on our way). We finished dinner by toasting to ourselves, cheering to the Girl Boss group.
Let me introduce you to these Girl Bosses (GBs):
  • My mom - GB #1 - She likes to call herself “Chairman of the Board.” She broke the glass ceiling in a male-dominated profession when she was a mortgage lender from the late 80’s to the early 90’s.
  • Myself - GB #2 - I’m a principal, author, doctorate degree, and business owner.
  • My sister-in-law - GB #3 - She is a CPA and leader in a financial institution.
  • My eldest daughter - GB #4 - She excels in the sales industry, a very male-dominated profession. She is also working on her Master’s in Enterprise Risk Management.
  • My youngest daughter - GB #5 - She is an Assistant Branch Manager at a bank. She is pursuing a degree in Business Leadership.
  •  My niece - GB #6 - She is in college getting a physics degree. She works in a lab and plans to continue schooling to get her PhD.
  • My niece - GB #7 - She is in college getting a degree in either psychology or neuroscience. She has already created and produced her first podcast series.

We are all in different fields at different ages having different experiences. We all truly enjoy learning from one another. At our first GB group meeting, my niece taught us the activity “Rose, Bud, Thorn.” In essence, everyone shares one thing they are proud of (your “rose”), one thing they are looking forward to (your “bud”), and one thing they have been struggling with (your “thorn”). We each got a chance to share our roses, buds, and thorns, which allowed us to connect, be heard, and develop a deeper understanding of each other’s lives. Since then, I have used this activity with my CLI team, and they thoroughly enjoyed it. 

The Girl Boss group reminds me that everyone brings a different perspective to the table, which allows for the development of true respect and appreciation for one another. We take time to check in with each other and share our past and present experiences. We share new ideas and encourage each other to take risks. We support one another, inspire confidence, and nurture the desire to strive for more. We’ve even created a Girl Boss text group complete with the Strong Arm Flex icon. 
We are strong women who are connected to one another. It’s important that we love and support one another. Being part of this lineage of female leaders is inspiring and motivating.
I encourage you to gather your own group of Girl Bosses. And if you’re on a solo journey, I’ve got your back with my newest edition to the CLI self-care lineup: Corporate Wellness: Self-Care for Professionals. 
What I have learned: Girl Bosses have to support each other. Lend a hand, share a kind word, and nurture these relationships.
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A Recipe for Growth

2/26/2023

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One of the hardest things to do in business is to ask for feedback. It can be scary. When you've given a presentation, shared your knowledge, and asked for feedback, you're really opening yourself up to anything anyone wants to say to you. It’s a vulnerable place to be. 

When seeking feedback, I like to ask specific questions. For example, after giving a presentation, I will often ask the audience to share what resonated most with them. This question helps me gauge how much of my message was understood and what the audience found to be important. 

After I cook and serve a meal, I don’t ask, “Well, what did you think?” This approach usually results in a barrage of unfiltered and brutally honest opinions or no feedback at all. So instead I’ll ask something like, “Did you think the chicken dish I made tonight was satisfying and filling?” or, “How do you think the spices tasted in this dish?” Narrow down your line of question to receive more constructive and relevant feedback. 

When you are asking for professional feedback, consider framing your questions like the ones presented below:
  • What did you gain from this presentation/video/meeting/etc.? 
  • How will you apply what you learned?
  • What is one thing I could do to improve this video/presentation/meeting/etc.?

Once you’ve gathered feedback, you must take it in, process it, and absorb it. Make sure you are being intentional with your reactions. I like to tell people I am “thick-skinned” when receiving feedback because I can handle it. And, it’s ultimately up to me on whether or not I take action on their feedback. Most people that provide feedback are not ill-intentioned, rather they're wanting to share their feelings. If you are honestly trying to grow a target audience, you need to listen to feedback. 

Now I want to share a formula for growth.

Feedback + Modification = Growth

Your growth opportunity begins after you have processed the feedback and considered what needs to change. When you start making small modifications or changes, you can start to see improvements.

Let’s go back to the cooking example. Perhaps someone gave you the feedback that they thought the dish was too salty and didn’t have enough garlic. The next time you make the dish consider adding a bit more garlic and a bit less salt. This modified dish can be served and feedback can once again be gathered. Maybe this time you ask, “How do you like the spices in this dish?” Hopefully, most people will come back with, “This is the perfect combination!” Because you were receptive to feedback and made changes, you are now a better cook.

Now let’s consider a professional example. I have a friend who told me that my videos were good, but she was not seeing the “real” me. I took her feedback and made changes. After these modifications, I have significantly grown my audience. Feedback + Modification = Growth

What I have learned: Asking for feedback is a brave first step in personal and professional growth. Making modifications will show growth outwardly. 

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Relationship Ritual: Morning Coffee

2/12/2023

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As I lay in bed this morning, I hear the ting of my coffee cup being set down on the coffee table. My husband has set it there for me at my usual spot. That’s my cue to get up. 

It’s more than just a cup of coffee. It’s a ritual my husband and I have kept for over 30 years. The cup of coffee symbolizes kindness and the special things we do for one another on a day-to-day basis. It’s a representation of the time we spend together. 

Mornings became our time very early in our marriage. We found that each morning was precious, still, and quiet before the children got up and the day began. It was time spent peacefully together. Sometimes we planned the day’s events or shared stories we didn’t tell in front of our kids. Sometimes we watched the news and discussed world issues. 

We each have a role to play in this ritual. Making the coffee at night is my contribution. I make it at night, and he pours it in the morning. We try to never miss this time together. There are some days when one of us doesn’t have to work, but we still get up with each other to have that time together. Sometimes in the spring and summer we are able to have our coffee outside where we will often talk about future plans of remodeling or vacationing. We have never wanted to have coffee time without each other. In fact, if he’s out of town, I might send him a picture of his spot telling him that I miss him and wish I was having coffee with him. If I’m out of town, he usually doesn’t make coffee, not wanting to drink it alone. 

Why is this important? It is more than a cup of coffee shared each day - it is how we greet the day with positivity and begin by treating each other with kindness and love. We, like many couples, have rituals that show each other kindness. We work to recognize, respect, and appreciate time together. Treasuring the moments that make us a couple and keep us a couple takes effort, and we know that. 

Have there been times when we disagreed? Have there been times when we weren’t thrilled with a decision or reaction? Yes, of course. But we hold this ritual as the foundation of our relationship. We know that we have to keep the foundation strong because there are going to be storms in our lives. Together we have to be solid to withstand them. We have coffee despite negative feelings and strive to work through any issues in that alone time. It usually works because we try to listen to one another and compromise. Sometimes it takes two coffee mornings to resolve big issues, but we continue to work on them. 

What I have learned: Small rituals, like having coffee together, can build a foundation for a long, enjoyable, and healthy relationship.

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Spectrum of Experience

1/29/2023

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When we look at our knowledge and experiences and compare them to others’, there's a pretty broad spectrum. Even comparing your present state with the you from a year ago can be quite different. I often think back to when I started CLI and compare that time to the present. To say the very least, I'm in a completely different place on my Spectrum of Experience. Two years ago, I was at the very beginning. Now, I'm somewhere in the middle. I’ve developed a lot of skills and created a good deal of content, but I'm still learning and growing. At this point, I find myself encountering other people who are asking me to coach them.

I recently met with a person in a completely different career from my own. She is planning on retiring and looking to start a consulting business by the upcoming spring. I asked her what steps she had taken to get prepared for this new venture. The individual responded with, “I don't really know.”

I asked if the company had a name, a website, a target audience, or a mission statement. Again, she responded with, “I have no idea. I just know that I want to consult in my field.”

As you can see, this person is closer to where I was two years ago than where I am now. The individual has no experience starting a business and doesn't really know where to begin. However, she does know what she wants to accomplish. 

With the final outcome in mind, we set up mentorship meetings. Our fields are in no way related…in fact, they’re nowhere near each other on the professional spectrum. We are certainly not competitors, but even if we were, there are so many basic pieces of starting a business that owners can share with one another without doing any damage to their own business. And, once she’s up and running, we’ll both run female-owned businesses. 

As I began my coaching experience, I started compiling a list of key components (some very basic and some very large) I wanted to share with her. I'm happy to share them with you as well. 

Business Plan
  • Register the business in your state - The legalities can be confusing, so use Legal Zoom or an attorney for assistance.
  • Obtain liability insurance.
  • Brainstorm a company name.
  • Answer the questions: 
    • What are you offering?
    • Who is your intended market/target audience?
    • How will you advertise?
    • What is your fee?

Website
  • Choose a professional profile picture.
  • Write (and edit) your biography.
  • Create an email address - Use a whole new account for your business, trust me.
  • Order business cards - Electronic business cards are an up and coming way to save on printing costs!
  • Brainstorm your professional highlights.

Professional Vitae/Resume
  • Create a portfolio of articles written and major projects completed.
  • Think beyond your years of experience - What else makes you a good consultant/business owner?
  • Document other relevant skills .

Social Media
  • Increase connections on professional networking sites, such as LinkedIn, Clubhouse, or Indeed.
  • Create posts and content.
  • Message potential clients and set up meetings.
  • Offer first sessions/select services for free for new or prospective clients.
  • Attend networking events.

I'm sure there are pieces I haven’t thought of. I’m sure I will add to this list as I continue to coach and network with others. No matter where you are on your Spectrum of Experience, you have the ability to share your knowledge and absorb advice from others too.

When I began CLI, did I think I would end up coaching others? NO! I didn’t expect this new experience, but I am happy to share my knowledge with those who may benefit. One piece of advice I always share with my clients: Take what resonates with you and leave the rest behind.

What I have learned: Your position on the Spectrum of Experience will be different than other people’s. Share your experiences, coach peers along, and be ready to learn from them as well. 

*If you are interested in scheduling a mentoring/coaching session or learning more about other educational experiences, visit the new Professional Development Division of CLI!

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Making Journaling Work For YOU

1/22/2023

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The other day I was trying to figure out when I began journaling. I really cannot remember. I know my therapist and I discussed it about 15 years ago. She explained it as a great way to express what was weighing me down, so I gave it a try. It has really helped me over the years.

But I want to make something clear - I’m not the most consistent journaler, nor the most disciplined. I seem to gravitate toward my journal sporadically, and that works for me. It took me a while to give myself the permission and grace to journal when I feel like it, rather than on a rigid schedule. However, daily journaling may be right for you, so I would encourage you to explore the frequency with which you journal.

During therapy, I learned that journaling is not an English assignment. You shouldn’t worry about punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc. Just write. Nothing fancy, just write. The goal is to get the thoughts and worries out of your head and onto paper. I’ve found it helps release what I’m feeling. It does not need to make sense to anyone else. It’s like giving your worry to someone else when you put the words to paper. I try to keep my journaling to 5-10 minutes per day. It should be a cathartic experience, not a daunting task.

Just like how often you journal, the format of your journal is completely up to you. For instance, I have multiple journals that can be found in different spots around my house. I have one that sits on my nightstand and has been there since 2011. After learning about practicing gratitude in January of 2011, I remember making a special trip to the store to pick out a journal with the perfect cover. With its silver, metallic background and pink and blue paisley print, it’s just my style. At the time I was very excited about trying a new self-care practice, so I began filling up its lined pages with lists of things for which I was grateful. 

I obviously haven’t written in it everyday or its spiral binding would be bursting. It now holds journal entries, gratitude lists, and other thoughts. It’s fun to go back and reread what my life was like throughout the years. Sometimes the things I wrote about seemed so worrisome at the time, but now I realize they weren’t that big of a deal. It’s also great to reflect on the ages and stages of my kids during that time. I especially like rereading my gratitude lists because they make me feel warm and even more grateful. Many of the things on my 10-year-old gratitude lists are the same things I’m grateful for now. 

I also keep a journal on my office desk, which I use when I need to express myself or have thoughts I need to write down while I’m working. I have my copy of Kickstarting Wellness in my yoga room, which I use to record self-care practices and other related experiences. I especially love the guided prompts in this journal because they keep me focused on my physical and mental health, my weekly activity level, and my progress toward wellness goals. 

Whether you’re a journaling veteran or a novice, you and your kiddos can get involved in this beneficial practice. I suggest teaching your kids how to journal by modeling this behavior. Take them to the store and let them pick out their own journal, or order a copy of Staying Well: A Self-Care Journal for Teens if your children are a bit older. Make sure to set aside consistent journaling time each day or week so they can learn the importance of emotional expression as a tool to promote mental wellness. 

Here are a few journaling tips:
  • Find time to journal each week (or day, depending on what works for you).
  • Get a great journal that resonates with your personal style. 
  • Don’t worry about grammar or spelling - just write!
  • Incorporate gratitude lists.
  • Write down your goals and dreams.
  • Don’t be afraid to doodle or draw in your journal.

What I have learned: There are very few rules to journaling, so make it a practice that works for you. 

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    Author

    Tania Farran is an educator, mom, business owner, and an author.  Her blogs tell about balancing all of these things in life!  Laugh or cry with her and maybe learn a thing or two. 

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