I knew from the moment I first kissed my husband that he was the one for me. How in the world can a person know that at 17 years old? Well, when you know, you know. That is all I can say. I remember my heart filling with love in that moment and feeling like it could quite possibly burst! I had never felt so connected to a person in my life than I did with that one kiss.
When we were first married, we started out with $400 in the bank. We were literally living on love. We were not prepared for anything, neither the bills, nor the chaos that life can bring. Not the sleepless nights of parenthood, nor the joyful moments with the children. Not the heartache of losing someone you love, nor the overwhelming love of having a child together. We did not think about any of this when we started our life together, but I knew one thing for sure. I knew we were not going to give up on each other. I knew from the moment I met him that he believed in me and would support me in all the ways I needed. I also knew that I believed in him. I believed he would uphold his vows, walk alongside me, push me in the right direction, and sometimes hold me back to protect me. I knew that he was going to be true to me and be kind to the people I loved. I believed that he would work hard for our family, and he always has. I knew he was a good man with a giant heart and that is what I needed. We vowed to always work it out together. That is what we have done for 30 years.
Younger people make comments about our long relationship like, “I want to be like the two of you,” or “I am holding out for a marriage like that.” I am always honest with them and tell them that it doesn’t just happen. WE WORK ON IT! We work on it together. We make adjustments, compromises, and admit when we are wrong. We go on dates without our kids and without our friends. We do things TOGETHER. We say we’re sorry and then we actually change our behavior so that it does not happen again. We work together. Call it 50/50 or 100/100, either way it takes a concerted effort from two parties. That is how it works.
When he proposed to me, we actually argued. I wouldn’t say yes until he agreed it was FOREVER! We bantered back and forth a few times, and when I was convinced, I said, “Yes!”
What I have learned: When you know, you know!
Tania Farran is an educator, mom, business owner, and an author. Her blogs tell about balancing all of these things in life! Laugh or cry with her and maybe learn a thing or two.