Connecting With Our Kids

If you missed last week’s Clubhouse chat, we had a great discussion about connecting with our kids. We shared ways we care and express love for our children. There were ways in which we were similar and ways in which we were very different.

Grab your coffee, set your kiddos up with an activity, and join us on Saturday mornings on Clubhouse at 8 a.m. CST. We have some great conversations. The guests bring a lot of really great ideas. You’ll learn so much, meet a lot of neat people, and have a great time!

Here is a bit of our Coffee and Kids conversation about Making Connections. Below is my contribution to the conversation:

The way I showed my children I cared for them when they were younger was different from the way my husband did. We both provided food and a stable home for them. I showed my kids love and compassion by telling them how much I loved them and by talking to them, being there and present for them, and being honest with them.

But there were times when I raised my voice or flew off the handle. I’m not a perfect parent, and it was definitely difficult to be a working mom. When I say the word “working,” I’m not just talking about the nine-to-five jobs outside the home. Stay-at-home moms are working moms too. So how do you balance working and giving your kids the care, time, and attention they deserve? I would encourage you to put your phone down, turn off the TV, and listen to your children. I would take the time to listen to my daughters’ needs and respond the best I could. I would show them that I was paying attention with nonverbal and verbal feedback. As my girls have grown up, I’ve continued to use these parenting skills. 

Make sure you emphasize that the things they’re saying to you are important because they ARE. I really didn't use material items to show my kids I cared about them (not that they wanted for much of anything). I took the time to show my kids I cared about them by spending time with them and giving them my full attention. It can be difficult to carve out this time, especially with everything else going on in our lives. When my daughters were young, Saturdays consisted of grocery shopping, laundry, and cleaning and organizing the house. Throughout the day, I would always find moments to stop and pay attention to my kids. It was a challenge with everything going on, but we were able to carve out precious moments together.

As adults, my daughters and I still spend a lot of time together, giving each other time and attention. Hugs and encouragement are still needed into adulthood. 

You can read more about connections and nurturing in my book Raising the Well-Adjusted Child: A Parent’s Manual. 

What I have learned: Giving people your time and attention is healthy for everyone involved. Stop what you’re doing, put down your phone, and listen to the person talking to you. 

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